Thoughts for a New Year

Not a very creative heading today, but I guess a new year causes many of us to ponder what we've accomplished, what we've lost, what we look forward to, etc. In what was an unusual decision for me, I actually made a couple of New Year's resolutions this year. I don't know if "resolutions" is the most accurate word, but I have purposed to choose to stop calling myself "stupid". I do that quite often - sometimes as a joke and sometimes in earnest. I wouldn't allow my children to call anyone that, so why do I accept it in myself? I also wouldn't call anyone that, but for some reason don't consider it wrong to do it to myself. I have a self-deprecating sense of humor, which I actually don't mind, but I do have to stop berating myself. Do you think there is a subtle difference between the two? I do -- at least I hope there is.

My most difficult plan this year is to say "yes" when people ask me to do something. That is oh, so difficult for me. I habitually just say "no" when people ask me to join them for dinner, or some type of an event. I spend time with 4 ladies at work and with my family. No one else. I have one long-time friend that I see occasionally - other than that, I mostly stay alone. I'm not sure when it happened, but I've become increasingly uncomfortable with people. It's never been my favorite thing, but I didn't used to work so diligently to evade people as I do now. So................ since I decided a couple of months ago to live boldly and with purpose, I must do it in public, not in the safety of my own private home. Ahhhh!!! I find that God has a sense of humor because, though it is only the second week in January, I have attended 2 events. TWO! One on Sunday (a graduation gathering for a friend's daughter) and on Monday I had dinner with a lady that I haven't spent time with in years. Funny that they both contacted me last week, just after my deciding to become "Yes, lady". I must say that I enjoyed both evenings. It wasn't at all painful -- well, maybe just a little, but not nearly as stressful as I had thought it might be. I am not expecting to spring forth with joy while singing into a new life full of people bustling around daily, but I hope to gradually become more comfortable and perhaps even look forward to being with others in a social situation. What do you think? Is it possible? I'll let you know.